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Posts Tagged multiple dogs

Beyond the Myths: Facts Over Fiction

Dog trainers who have been working at their craft for a long time are generally very skilled in holding their tongues about the myriad of things that they hear when working with clients or even when out in dog centered locales, overhearing the general dog loving public. The source of these outdated myths are usually well-meaning family and friends trying to “help” the dog parent. But sadly, in far too many cases, the source is sometimes people actually working as “trainers”, who haven’t updated their dog behavior education in a very long time. And then of course, there is “the internet”, a source of both truth and fiction alike. I am here to bust some of those myths up with facts. Get comfortable!

Humans should eat before dogs to establish dominance:
No, just no. This came from some outdated idea that alpha wolves eat first. In reality, wolf families share meals and in times of scarcity, they make sure that the pups are fed first. In a human run household with dogs, regardless of their age, the dogs are the pups. Feeding them first will not cause them to believe that they are dominant. It will make mealtimes for the humans much more pleasant as the dogs will not be annoying the humans while they eat, as they are already satisfied. I generally recommend to my clients that they plan both meals to be ready at the same time so that they can offer the dogs their meal as they are about to sit down to their own meal. Win/win.

More on that here: Pack leadership is not a thing!

Koro is done with the myths. Can you tell? Photo courtesy of Ariel McCray.

More dominance nonsense. Dogs like cushy places like couches and human beds because they are exactly that, cushy places. They have no illusions of control being on such cushy places except if they are resource guarding such spaces. This is not dominance related at all. It’s a behavioral issue that can be somewhat hardwired in as a survival instinct, but can successfully be worked with to improve those nerve patterns. So, if your dog resource guards raised surfaces from either the humans or other animals in your household, then get yourself a quality modern methods rewards-based behavior consultant so that you can resolve that issue the right way. In the meantime, provide plenty of soft surfaces for all dogs at floor levels. Read Sleeping with your dog has benefits! for how it improves the relationship to have your dogs sleep with/near you. Additionally, in a similar context, you can safely sit on the floor with your dog without them thinking that you are now a sibling/toy. But do realize that many dogs are soooo excited to have their humans on the floor with them that those who have not developed great impulse control skills yet will be super excited and possibly be all over you. This does not translate to “being dominant”. This translates similarly to being on the floor with an excited toddler. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Dogs should never walk in front of a human:
That’s silly at best. Personally, I want my dogs walking in front of me on walks, as I hate the feeling of the leash slapping at my legs. “Heeling” is an outdated concept better practiced in competition “obedience”. If you aren’t doing such, then just worry about leash manners versus heeling. Will you need your dogs to walk by your side briefly in certain contexts? Absolutely! Two examples: you have a large dog and there are others headed your way and you need to give them space; you are walking into the vet’s or the groomer’s facility, and you want to maintain control in case someone else isn’t doing so. Both of these are perfectly acceptable reasons for “heeling”. But I don’t call it that and I teach it as a “stay with me” type of scenario that a dog is lavishly rewarded for and cued for in advance of need and then released as soon as safe to do so. “Heeling” on leash on a walk is B.O.R.I.N.G. for your dog. The walk is for your dog. Let them explore their environment and check their pee-mail as well as “read the landscaping” for critter activity. This is far more mentally tiring than walking in a military style protocol by your side will ever be. Tiring your dog out mentally so that they will be more relaxed at home is your goal with walks, right? Didn’t you ever wonder why your dog returns from a “heeling” walk just as amped up as when you left? Well, now you have your answer. Read both of the following for what a quality walk consists of: Your dog needs walks for enrichment purposes and How to mix up your dog’s walks

Humans should go out of doorways first:
Same theory though not as militantly expressed. Generally, as long as you cue your dogs to exit said doorway/vehicle opening, it’s all good. The key is the cue. Teaching your dogs some impulse control so that bad things don’t happen because of excited exits is the goal here, not some outdated theory that your dogs see you as “alpha” if you go through that doorway first. Dogs don’t think in those terms. They just think you want out more than they do. Personally, I find it easier to exit after them, as long as I am sure that the coast is clear. Obviously, exiting after them applies to doorways, not vehicles. Practicality and all.

Alpha Rolls, just don’t:
This seems to be a thing that just won’t die with some “professionals” insisting that this places you in a “dominant” position. No, it doesn’t. Wolves in the wild never did this. It was disproved decades ago. Read here: Alpha rolls are dumb . Dogs will voluntarily roll on their backs when other dogs scare them or to appear non-threatening when trying to make friends. That is a gesture that means “please don’t hurt me” or “I won’t hurt you”, the first often referred to by trainers in the know, as a tap out. Tossing a dog on his or her back with force or at all, just causes the dog to think that you are unpredictable and not to be trusted. Is that the kind of relationship that you want to forge?

Some breeds need a heavier hand:
No, not at all. All sentient beings learn by both classical and operant conditioning as well as observation. How you implement modern rewards-based methods will differ with each individual dog. But all dogs can be trained/have their behavior modified without a “heavy hand”. Read these for more on this subject: No breed needs a firmer hand and Each dog (not breed) is an individual and also Positive training works on all dogs .

Pack hierarchy isn’t a thing:
Don’t allow anyone to tell you to reinforce a mythical status of one of the dogs in your household. You are the parent in this equation. None of the dogs are “in charge”. The humans set boundaries and enforce safety protocols. The dogs don’t decide who does what, any more than you would allow your children to decide “status” in your home. Be a benevolent parent. Fairness is important, as is making sure that all dogs know that the adult humans in the home are the ones who provide safety. Read more on that here You do not have a pack! and here Dogs notice fairness and here How to effectively parent your crew!

Now go forth and educate your fellow dog parents who might be listening to the wrong crowd please. Their dogs will forever thank you for busting those myths!

Tags: alpha, alpha dog, alpha roll, dog myths, dog pack, dogs on beds, dogs on couches, dominance, enrichment, enrichment walks, heavy handed dog training, heeling, multiple dogs, obedience, positive training, sleeping with your dog

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And Then There Were None: Losing Trent, the Last of my Original Crew

No loss is easy, even as you anticipate its impending nearness. It’s still jarring and it rips an open wound into one’s soul. Even worse is a sudden change. There’s little time to prepare for the inevitable. The stark differences in every day life are there to remind you every second of how your life has changed so much.

Trent was my 14 year plus year-old Pit Bull mix, whom I had shared my life with since he was just over one year of age. He was my accidental dog. A former boss of mine came to me with the sad story of her granddaughter’s allergies to the puppy her son had for nearly 6 months. She loved this puppy, named Guido at the time, but her skin didn’t. I referred her to someone I thought that I knew well, who ran a rescue. She took Guido in and renamed him Tony. Tony was a lovely 6-month-old brindle Pit Bull with what was supposedly a sweet disposition. I saw endless pictures of the 3-year-old child with her Guido. None were concerning.

Said “rescue” friend turned out to be in over her head and was basically warehousing dogs who were spending endless hours crated in their own feces. I was horrified. The shelter that I spent double digit years volunteering at sent their humane agents in and the dogs were seized. I asked to have Guido/Tony turned over to me, since I was responsible for sending him there. At the time, I ran a Doberman rescue, so I thought I would place him through said rescue. My dogs greeted him just fine. They were used to dogs rotating in and out our house. Kera especially seemed to enjoy playing with him, which wasn’t typical for her with new foster dogs. I renamed him Trent. Tony was not a suitable name for this sleek shiny boy. Trent bonded with Siri the most since, they were closest in age, for every day BFF status, but played well with all 3 of my personal dogs.

As time went on, it appeared that Trent had some quirks, such as extreme leash reactivity towards other dogs. I assumed that it had developed in his time in “rescue”. I worked on this as much as possible, but it became clear that he was not going to be able to be placed in a normal dog parent home. I did not want to take the chance of a Pit Bull being in the news for the wrong reasons, so I committed to keeping him.

Trent actually did fine with other dogs off leash in my house. He just looked like a raging Tasmanian devil on a leash when another dog was in sight, even at a great distance. I had Doberman after Doberman rotate through my doors and Trent was great with all of them. He and Siri especially enjoyed when we dog sat for a brindle Great Dane puppy belonging to a friend. They looked like one dog with many limbs when they wrestled and rested.

Trent and I got along just fine. I loved him, and he loved me but we never shared the same bond as I did with Merlin, Kera and Siri. He sought affection from the dogs first, though I spent many hours laying on the couch with him and Siri wrapped as one, leaning on me. He was very social with any human who came to visit and changed a few minds on the subject of Pit Bulls. He was definitely a lover.

When Merlin was battling cancer, Trent watched over him with a keen eye, just like Siri did. Kera was starting to lose cognition so she was less aware, but Trent always made sure that Merlin was safe and nearby. He acted like a mother hen. I was very proud of him. We all mourned when Merlin passed but Trent wasn’t showing interest in eating dinner the next few days. I had to tell him that Merlin would want him to eat. He appeared to think about it and consented.

We lost Kera only 7 months later. It was just him and Siri for a bit and then Kenzo came into our lives like a lightening bolt of fur to shake us all up and add life again. Siri was afraid of the furry puppy that Kenzo was. She was still suffering all of our losses. But Trent rolled Kenzo on the floor every night for a week, eliciting puppy squeals until finally Siri decided to see what all the fuss was about. She never looked back. Trent gave her the courage to live and love again. They became the 3 musketeers. It was a joy to watch.

Trent got worried as Kenzo grew larger than he had likely ever seen a dog be. But Kenzo was (and is) a lover so he had nothing to fear. The one time that Kenzo decided to posture, at about 7 months of age, by standing over Trent, Siri immediately rose to the occasion with a big sister roar. Kenzo’s eye grew as large as the sun and he backed away to never try that nonsense again.

When Siri grew weary of life, Trent watched with concern. I think he suffered even more than I did when we lost her. They were 2 peas in a pod. For about 6 months, it was just my 2 boys. We had adventures such as a road trip to Maine where I discovered that Trent LOVED adventures. We went to Moraine State Park regularly so that my boys could hang out by the lake. And we hiked a lot in the local park. Finally, we added to the crew, a blond Chow Chow who was a stray who found herself at the local shelter, whom I named Mela. Neither boy welcomed her immediately, but Trent held his own and laid down his personal space rules and Mela respected them. The dynamics of this little family of mine were not the same as the previous fabulous foursome but we were happy.

During the past year Trent’s pace grew slower. His recognition of personal space declined. He was no longer able to jump up on the bed and refused to use the dog stairs. I put him on CBD oil for mobility purposes and he also grew a bit more alert for a little time. He still went on daily walks and mostly kept up and sniffed with the best of them. But in the last 6 months or so, he stopped coming upstairs to lay on the guest bed and instead chose the couch during waking hours. He stopped coming upstairs to see what Mela left in her snuffle mat when I got home from clients. He didn’t seem interested in our training games. He always ate well, and his housetraining remained 99% intact. So, it was easy pretend that he would last forever. After all, he turned 14 in August and although slower, he was still doing the important stuff as usual.

At his last vet visit in June, we decided to put him on Rimadyl. It was a great decision. He was clearly much spunkier and enjoying his walks even more than he already did. It made me happy. But I would be lying if I did not mention that his cognitive decline had made life much more annoying for all of us. The circumstance that decided that he would have to sleep in the “doggy condo corner” of my bedroom on the twin bed that was part of the dog beds there was because he had taken to stomping around the bed in the middle of the night and once jumped off of the bed in the dark onto Kenzo. Needless to say, that didn’t go well. He no longer recognized personal space boundaries and would walk straight at the other dogs when engaged in something that used to be obvious should not be interrupted such as a meal or pottying. His hearing was selective, and he tried to bite me frequently for trying to physically help guide him up the steps or onto the couch safely. He nearly walked straight out of my very high vehicle numerous times while I was trying to get the steps out, so I had to constantly make sure that he stayed in while I got them out. He would bound across the bedroom randomly when we first got up, straight into the other dogs with no recognition that this might not be a good idea. As with all seniors of any species, when he wanted something, he wanted it right then.

Because of this, I was more impatient with him than I should have been, more frequently than I was for his entire life until recently. I will likely be beating myself up about that forever. I tried very hard every day, but I wasn’t always successful at hiding that impatience. After all, I though he would live forever. I cannot even begin to describe the pain this brings my soul.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving Day. Trent managed to get his collar off again during our walk, which made that the second time in about a month. We walked in a local cemetery that day as we had the last time he lost it. But this time, the tags were not on as he had also managed to somehow loosen those in my house and I had them. My intent was to switch to his Christmas collar the day after Thanksgiving and add the tags then. But I never got the chance.

The day after Thanksgiving started like any other, aside from Trent seeming more wobbly than usual getting out for first potty. I noticed but not as much as I should have. Then when I went to bring him his breakfast, he wouldn’t get off of the couch and he was heavily panting and clearly in some kind of pain. I could not tell exactly from what, but it was a look that I recognized from the day that Siri passed, the end of life organ failure look. I was frantic. I needed him to eat in order to take his Rimadyl. I wanted to see if that helped but he would not swallow anything that I tried to give him. I called the vet. They said to bring him in in a couple of hours if he wasn’t better. He was a small amount better in that he could walk without falling but he was still panting and in pain. I made the decision to help him cross the bridge that day. I waited too long with Kera and I never forgave myself for that. With Siri, she passed on her own at home in my arms, but I still wonder if I should have given her peace from any suffering sooner. I didn’t want that to happen with Trent. I took him in and gave him some treats that he ate and held him sobbing my soul out while he crossed the bridge.

The next day, we went the same route on the walk that Trent had lost his collar, in a desperate search for it. I asked the universe and Trent to guide me to it. Halfway through I was starting to lose hope. Then we rounded the bend and it was there, laying in plain sight in the grass. I was so happy to have that collar back, it felt like Trent has made sure we would find it!

The losses never get easier. Despite my relationship with Trent not being the same as with my other original crew — Merlin, Kera and Siri — his loss left a huge hole in my heart. I cried for about 3 days straight, nearly non-stop. I am still mourning of course, Christmas without him was very hard. A few days after Trent crossed the bridge, first Mela on one day and then Kenzo, the following day, slept in the exact same spot on that twin bed in the doggy condo corner that Trent slept in. They have never done that before those instances and they have not repeated that since then. It felt like they were honoring him. They both stretched out in such a way that I don’t often see them do elsewhere. They both looked pleased. It was nice to see.

Part of my life is gone now and that makes me sad. I don’t know what the future holds but I like to think that every dog that I have shared my life with has taught me something about how to be a better person. I hope that the lessons that Trent left me with are more patience. I will do my best to honor him by cultivating that quality. Thank you, Trent, for sharing your life with me. I hope that someday I can be the person you wanted me to be. And I hope that you are free of pain with your “siblings” smiling in happiness.

Tags: dogs, loss, loss in the multiple dog household, multiple dogs, pit bulls, rescue, senior dogs

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The Ties That Bind: Families and Conflicts

Families: they are who you are connected to in this world in a way like no other. The word family means far more than a blood connection. Some families have adopted children, who are chosen with as much love as others have who given birth to have for their blood born kin. Some families are a combination of blood relatives along with new additions, by marriage or other means. This type of family is incredibly common in this day and age, with second marriages and his and hers kids blending together as one complete unit. Unless your family is comprised of robots, there are always ups and downs. Conflicts are normal in the course of life. Each person has their own concerns and opinions and they don’t always mesh with others who share the home. If this doesn’t happen in your home, then I welcome you to present your family to research scientists so that you can be studied for the benefit of the rest of us!

I cannot count how often I hear clients and potential clients come to me with the worry that their dogs, who usually are wonderful friends, had a disagreement. As with human families, this is normal. What is different with your canine charges is that you, as the human source of parental guidelines, have the responsibility of determining what the cause was so that you can set future scenarios up for success.

Before I go much further, I need to make it clear that this blog post is not about canine households where conflict is far more common than harmony. If that is the case in your home, then you need immediate in-home professional behavioral assistance. Run, do not walk, to your email and send me your zip code so that I can find you a qualified behavior consultant in your area. The rest of you, keep reading.

Life does not exist in a vacuum. Every day is different. How you wake up starts your day off on a particular note, whether good or bad. Some days you feel better than others. Everything that happens in that day contributes to how you feel. How you feel affects how you act. Unless, of course, you have exceptional self control at all times and really, who does that??? I don’t know anyone who does. If you do, again there is that suggestion that you present yourself to be studied for the benefit of science and learning! The rest of us have varying degrees of self control. This self control is also affected by what behaviors that we have been taught that are appropriate and are reinforced well. The same applies to dogs.

Dogs that have been taught impulse control along with good manners as well as being reinforced well for making appropriate choices, are far better equipped to cope with an off day than others who did not have that same skillset. Add to that equation everyone’s natural personality baseline. Some are extroverts and some are introverts and some are in the middle.

Perhaps your dogs get along great 99% of the time. They play together, they rest together, they depend on each other for companionship and support. But one dog likes bones better and the other dog likes balls better. One dog is a bit worried about loud noises and the other dog hates rain. One dog is clumsy and the other dog is usually adept at getting out of the clumsy one’s way. One day while you are at work, there is work being done on your street right in front of your house and your noise sensitive dog is getting more stressed by the moment. He has self soothed himself all day by chewing on his bones while his clumsy brother has chased his balls on and off throughout the day, sometimes requiring a move from your other dog. The noisy work outside ceases for the day, you come home. The dogs are delighted, their walk is imminent. While you are getting ready to take them on what they have waited on all day, it starts pouring down rain. The clumsy one rushes out the door when you are ready to exit for your way, only to get immediately wet. He turns on a dime and crashes right into his brother in his haste to get back into the house. His usually tolerant brother has been stressed all day over the noise so instead of shaking it off as he would normally do, he turns around and scares the crap out of mister clumsy with a huge roar and pins him down. You are alarmed and frightened. Your sweet low key boy has suddenly become “aggressive”. No damage was done to clumsy boy but you are sure that tolerant boy has suddenly become “aggressive”.

If this were something that happened regularly, you would definitely need to get professional help. But if these dogs have successfully lived together for years and they have had no disagreements that you have noticed alarmingly in the past, then you have yourself a case of trigger stacking.

There are numerous articles on this subject available, some listed below, and this one is simply the latest to join the others, with a different slant. What it means in this case is that outside influences shortened a fuse that is normally longer. That is normal.

Read below:
Great Expectations: Life Will Roll You on a Regular Basis

The Cumulative Effect

He Never Does That!

Life is full of compromise. This is relevant in all species. Families don’t always agree on what the best way to live together is. Your dogs are part of your family. They have independent personalities, just like the humans. They feel differently every day. The more that you strive to understand that, and the more that you strive to set them up for success, the better chance that you have of existing with mostly harmony. So set your crew up for success and don’t expect them to be robots!

Feel free to share in the spaces below how you set your crew up for success.

Tags: blended families, canine families, dogs are family, dogs arguing, multiple dog household conflict, multiple dogs, trigger stacking

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