How Many Dogs?! Creating Harmony in a Multi Dog Household

A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

Tags: behavior, celebrate life, dog, empathy, how, interaction, many, Merlin, multiple, partner, peace, puppy, respect, shelter, social, training, wonderful

Correct Me If I’m Wrong? I Have a Better Idea

This may not strike you as a multiple dog subject and strictly speaking, it isn’t. But it’s a dog behavior subject that affects all dogs so that is multiple enough for me. I have been mulling this subject over for some time now, prompted by recent conversations I have had with a couple of people, all via internet, which is never the best venue.

Denise Fenzi training with R+.

As anyone who has either read my book or knows me in person is aware of, I am a positive reinforcement trainer. That wasn’t always the case. I started my training knowledge with the more old fashioned techniques now known as “traditional” training.

At the time, it was simply the way that things were done. My fellow trainers and I were never intentionally harmful to the dogs that we were training or so we saw it that way. Of course the corrections that we issued to these dogs were intentional in that they were meant to be corrections. But did we see these forceful actions as harmful? Not at all. It was simply how we were told that dogs learned. But did they really learn? Sure, they did but at a cost and part of that cost was often a loss of trust. Humans are very unpredictable and can cause pain. They learned that right away. Best to avoid that pain by toeing the line that we drew. Dogs are amazingly adaptive. They can learn despite the failings of humans.

I will always have to live with the knowledge that my beloved Merlin and Kera were initially “trained” with choke chains and a harsh jerk on the leash. And let’s not forget scruff grabs and the like. My sweet Siri got far too familiar with a prong collar for during her late teenage months. Until I heard the cry of pain from one particularly enthusiastic launch forward during a hike, that is. That was the last time she had to bear that medieval device. It has made a great back gate latch since then.

My training method crossover did not happen fully overnight. I was dead set against using food rewards at first. But I attended my first positive training class with a dog from the shelter that I taught at, instructed by a local positive trainer who taught at another local shelter. I was initially horrified at the amount of food used. But I could not deny that my shelter ward for the class was attentive to what was taught. Soon I was bringing my own dog (Merlin) to the same trainer’s class with an eagerness that I never felt about my own classes. The transformation had begun.

The majority of that transformation was the fact that Merlin was not a dog that accepted corrections lightly. When they even made a dent in his consciousness, it was because he fought back. Merlin was a confident intelligent dog. He saw no need to be roughed up. When I learned a better way, the difference in attentiveness was like night and day. I had finally had the sense to give this brilliant dog the job that he had been craving. The end of his reactivity on leash to pretty much anything that moved had begun in earnest. I was delighted!

Years have passed and my knowledge has grown by volumes. My eyes have been opened. I have been thinking about this awakening in depth recently and I liken it to those pictures that get forwarded around where there are hidden images. Until you spot the image, you are confused and frustrated. Everyone else can see it, why can’t you? But then the skies clear, the image is undeniable and you wonder with amazement how you missed it even for a moment. As a dear friend says about other subjects, you can’t unsee it. Your life is forever changed. This is how I now see the balanced trainers versus positive reinforcement trainers division. I now see that image and that can never be changed. I wish they could see it too. It makes me sad that they can’t.

I will try very hard to explain this without judgment. Having been on the other side, I truly know that there is no cruel intent in most balanced trainers’ methods. I say most because some people will always take pleasure in their so called domination of another species. This is not said lightly. I have names in mind. This writing is not about those people. I do not feel that changing the view of those who feel that way is within my reach. Their path is in their control and they will follow it where they are directed to. I wish them clarity someday.

One of the questions I was asked recently was, did I think someone I know who is a balanced trainer hurts dogs? I said no initially because I truly don’t think she means to, as explained above. But after giving this more thought, the real answer is, “Yes, I do.” Using shock, jerks on choke chains or prong collars, and other physical corrections, DOES hurt. It’s designed to. That is the whole reason behind the use. Punishment does work. Correct the dog, he won’t do that again! But what does the dog learn from that? See above.

The dog in question does not change how he feels about what caused him to get issued a correction. He just learns that it hurts when he does that. It doesn’t mean he won’t do it again. It means that he will weigh his options and may choose what is more rewarding for him in the immediate moment at the expense of potential pain. This is a bad position to place a dog in.

The relationship suffers. There is no way of getting around that. There are various schools of thought that a dog should do whatever is asked simply because pleasing the human that asked is the best reward. It sure can be a huge part of it. But there are caveats to this.

That high of a value being placed on verbal acknowledgement as a reinforcement only comes with an already stellar relationship. If you are an unpredictable human and you sometimes cause pain, then you are not to be fully trusted and a verbal reinforcement will never be at the same level for a dog you are training than with a dog and human combo that has a trust filled relationship.

There, I said it. Let the flames begin. That is fact and you can spin it any way you want to try but that is how relationships work and we all know it. It’s the same with humans. Trust is trust. If you trust the person on the end of the leash to always have your back, then you will do pretty much anything for that person. Positive reinforcement training gives you and your dogs the opportunity to truly communicate with one another. It’s a two way conversation, with respect for both.

I realize that I must clarify the above somewhat. I am well aware that there are some crossover trainers who had great relationships with their dogs prior to crossing over. But I feel safe saying that these trainers have great skill with timing and that their corrections were rarely or never at the extreme end. The average dog parent who takes a class/has a private from/with a balanced trainer doesn’t have the same skill and understanding and the relationship will suffer.

Now none of this is not to say that positive trainers never lose their cool. We yell at our own dogs periodically, we have faults, we make mistakes, we are all human. But the effort to avoid having any emotional and physical pain in the name of forced compliance is a huge consideration. Again, this is not a judgment on those who I think simply have not seen that image. This is a plea to you to try to see that image. For your dogs, for the dogs you train. There is a better way.

I hear so much silliness from balanced trainers that well trained dogs trained by positive reinforcement is not the norm. We must have as our own dogs or train only soft dogs, not the dogs with drive like they train. Again, sorry to be blunt, but hogwash! I have dogs with “drive”. (what a silly term! It really just means a type A personality.) Merlin was never an easy dog to either live with or train but let me say, once I learned the right way to train, he was a pleasure! I could take him anywhere. He could be off leash standing next to a deer and he would come to me to be rewarded for ignoring said deer. I work with dogs like this all the time. I help clients turn reactivity and aggression around all the time. As with any client base, owner compliance is important to success. But success is the norm here. I am also far less worried about the damage that my clients can do to their dogs with bad timing of verbal markers and treats than giving them the permission to jerk their dog when the feel the need!

Anger is easy to escalate. Having been in this position, I say this with conviction: it’s far easier to simply jerk a leash again when “compliance” is not forthcoming than to take the moment to show the dog what you want instead. Anger begets anger. I choose to show people how to teach their dogs to make better decisions and to give their dogs a voice in the outcome of any situation. I can sleep better this way and I know that the majority of my clients do as well.

This is a subject dear to my heart so I need to curtail my ramblings now or I will fill far too many pages for this article! I will end this with some comments from other cross over trainers on what moment gave them pause to “cross over”, edited for space.

Dawn Elberson Goehring in Gaitlinburg, TN is in the entertainment business at the Comedy Barn Theater with her dogs. With a background in working with wildlife, which involves hands off training, she could not understand why leashes were needed to train a dog. So she went hands off with her trick training and found an amazing attitude with her dogs that serves her as well with training clients today.

Nan Arthur, trainer in Lakeside CA and member of the faculty at Karen Pryor Academy and author of “Chill Out Fido”, says that her defining moment was attending a class with her six month old puppy and seeing the instructor correct another dog so hard that he was slammed into a brick wall because of his barking. She walked out and found a better way.

Pat Miller, owner of Peaceable Paws in Fairplay, MD and author of numerous books on positive training as well as training editor of the Whole Dog Journal, states that her light bulb moment came when her marvelous dog Josie ran and hid under the deck when she brought out her utility dog equipment. She never looked back from that moment. It is well documented what has resulted since then!

Miranda Workman, trainer in Amherst, NY and former president of the CCPDT, offers that her Boxer who had been attacked by another dog, became reactive and was made worse by punishment based training techniques. He was no longer safe to be around. This situation helped her not only cross over but to become a professional trainer.

Casey Lomonaco, of Rewarding Behaviors Dog Training in Endicott, NY has Monty to thank for her awakening. I cannot possibly edit her story and still do it justice so simply read it for yourself here. http://projectmonte.wordpress.com/about/

All these situations have something in common: they saw the image in the picture. For those of you who have seen the image, feel free to share your story here as well. For those who have yet to see the image, if you are local, come watch me work. If you are not, call a qualified positive trainer and ask to watch her/him work. I wish you clarity.

Tags: attack, balanced, choke, correction, cruel, dogs, food, harm, jerk, leash, many, multiple, pain, positive, prong, puppy, reinforce, respect, reward, shelter, train, trust

The Puppy Chronicles Continued: Kenzo’s Toddler Period

If I had remembered how much work it was to raise a puppy correctly, you would be reading a very different blog right now. Why this information slipped my mind, I cannot say. The memory of not really sleeping for the first year of raising Merlin and Kera should have been vividly etched on my mind. But perhaps I told myself that was then, two puppies, not one, like now. I am a professional, after all, this should be piece of cake. Hah! What a joke that is on me!

So now here I am with a 24/7 responsibility. Thank the universe that he is a smart not so little guy who picks up things quickly. In fact, far more quickly than I would prefer in some cases! Take stairs, for example. No one told Kenzo that giant breeds should hold off on climbing stairs until after the twelve week mark. Kenzo was mastering them at ten weeks. I had to be very fast to scoop him up and prevent future joint issues. Too much exercise for my tastes.

Keeping him mentally stimulated is a whole second job. There will likely be multitudes of toys scattered in all rooms but the kitchen and bathroom for months. And even the kitchen is not always exempt from this rule!

Trent, Siri & Kenzo after play. Smiling.

Integrating Kenzo successfully into basic daily routines have been gradual. For example, at first he ate separately first and then was crated while the “big dogs” ate. Then I started allowing him to stay in the kitchen and eat with the others, but he still ate first but I kept him on leash while I served the others, running interference with said leash. We soon graduated to simply having the leash attached to me and going back to serving Siri and Trent their meals first, then serving Kenzo. He soon learned to simply wait for the others to be served. Now the leash is forgotten in the kitchen and I am pleased to say that Kenzo politely maintains a sit while Siri and Trent are served most of the time. But even when he doesn’t maintain a sit, he respects that what I give to Siri and Trent belongs to them.

Now as far as Kenzo’s own meal is concerned, eating slowly is not his strong suit! I am trying valiantly to teach him to chew, which has resulted in some hand feeding of things I prefer to not handle as much as I have, such as chicken and duck necks! After all, we feed a raw diet in this house so teaching a dog to chew is vital!

I have also discovered that he has some innate guarding issues with high value to him things such as his dinner and chew treats such as bully sticks and the like. So I have begun to work on that as well, with the afore mentioned hand feeding serving a dual purpose. Adding tasty tidbits to his food bowl when he eats a ground raw meal has also resulted in eagerly looking up when I get closer to his bowl rather than hurrying faster to eat his bowl.

As far as the chewy treats, exchanges with high value treats for the coveted chewy have been very successful in securing an immediate drop it behavior. I far prefer this option than not providing chew treats or crating for such, which is what I know some people opt to do. I love giving my crew chew treats. I would never want that not to be an option. Interestingly and thankfully, he has not shown this guarding side to the other dogs, only the human part of the equation. But my radar will stay alert for future developments.

Siri guarded high value objects such as chewies from an early age and the effort that I put into changing that paid of in spades.

Socializing a guarding breed puppy is crucial; especially when said puppy will be as large as Kenzo as an adult. From day one, I have asked people to come over and visit, establishing that visitors are a good thing. This is not easy for me as I am not big on social activity in my home but it has been good for Siri and Trent as they sure are! All the more attention for them.

So Kenzo has met different types of people all giving him attention which he loves. I have also taken him quite a few places, meeting even more different types of people in different circumstances. One locale is an office environment so he has been exposed to sounds that he would not experience in most places.

Luckily for him (though not for me!), for the moment, we still live in an urban environment. This means noisy for those of you who are lucky enough to be suburban or rural dwellers. Kenzo has heard fireworks, motorcycles, loud yelling, screaming children and loud stereos. He has barked some as his genetics have told him too but I can see him getting more used to things on a regular basis. Tomorrow is another play date with older puppies and kids. Kenzo has a more active social life than I do at the moment but this is what you commit to when you accept the responsibility of a puppy. This makes for a tired but happy human!

Take a moment to tell me below what you like about having a puppy!

Raising Kenzo: The Puppy Diaries

I am now entering the fourth week of having a new puppy. A routine is now in place, as much as there can be a routine with a puppy of this age who is constantly changing. I am able to sleep through the night without hearing screaming. That took about a week. I am very grateful for the full nights sleep. I am not one of those people who can exist well on a couple of hours of shut eye! I need real rest or I am a bear!

Crating during the first week was interesting, despite Kenzo having already had crate training in his birth-home. It seems that he viewed the crate time alone there as a vacation from his littermates. Here, he displayed all the traits of a drama king. The variations of tone and pitch in his screams would make any Broadway musical star jealous. Thankfully, that has greatly decreased. I am sure that my neighbors are grateful.

Because of his histrionics, I was crating him in the dog room alone (with music, of course) as I did not want to subject Siri and Trent to the stress of the audio display. I am pleased to say that he is now almost always crated in my bedroom where Trent and Siri typically lounge when I am gone. This is also where he is when “the big dogs” go on their daily outing that includes a hike or walk. He feels safer in there, I think.

It has become an amusing habit that every evening, Siri and Trent, “beat up” the puppy, much to his delight and theirs. As I left off in my last blog, Trent was feeling ignored by Siri when she played with Kenzo. Now they share puppy rolling duties equally. They both initiate play with him. I feel safe leaving the room with all of them playing now, thankfully.

Siri usually takes the lead and rolls Kenzo for a bit, then she takes a break while Trent has a go at him. At some point, they ignore him for a few minutes of beating each other up, and then they team up on him. He lives for the attention they give him. He adores them.

This typically lasts about an hour. Then Kenzo crawls off under the coffee table to take a break. After that and a jaunt into the kitchen to grab a drink of water, Kenzo grabs an old marrow bone or an antler and chews for a bit before crawling onto the stone hearth (cooler on his belly, he is a winter breed) to take a nap while I read or watch TV. The “big dogs” nap then as well.

I like routines just as much as dogs do. They make me more comfortable. So I am glad that things are going well so far. This is only one of our routines. Others include feeding the puppy first because it’s easy and then letting him run around while I prep Siri and Trent’s food. When the puppy gets his lunch, the “big dogs” get cookies so that everyone gets something. I am sure that Siri notices that Kenzo gets fed first but I am equally sure that she notices that during most of their early meals, he gets crated and we all eat together.

I have started Kenzo on being in the room when they eat, so that he can learn that their food is not his, but that lesson will take some time. The leash that holds him then gets a work out! Or my arms get the workout while holding him. These days, primarily, he is present for the evening meal. He has not yet figured out that all the food served is not his for the taking.

I have also started Kenzo on group outings with “the big dogs”. The hot and steamy weather most of the country has suffered had sped that process along. Not being able to take a normal hike or walk on many days, has allowed me to have Kenzo tag along. His leash skills are still atrocious so walking on group walks is months in his future, but toddling after Trent or Siri on a long line while they run around or just walk slowly sniffing off leash at our favorite hang out is beneficial to teaching him to stay with the crew. It has also proofed his outdoor pottying skills as now he grasps that he can potty on a leash away from home just as easily as in our yard off leash. Win/win.

I could fill many pages with the challenges that I encounter having not had a puppy this young (of my own) for almost ten years but I want to save some information for future blogs!

Feel free to share your own puppy experiences in the spaces below. Even “experts” can learn from what others do!

And Puppy Makes Three: Introducing Kenzo

This is not the hardest blog I have had to write but it’s definitely way up there. I have been procrastinating writing it in order to avoid the reality of the situation. That situation being of course, that Merlin and Kera really are gone, not just on vacation or something.

You would think that introducing a puppy into a household would be a cause for celebration. Of course it is, don’t misunderstand me, but it also brought so many feelings to the surface that I have been trying very hard to not feel. The sadness of loss is never more evident than when you are trying to fill the void caused by said loss.

To say that this household was in need of a jolt of some happiness would be a serious understatement. Puppies are nothing if not a smile made of fur. So what is the problem then, right? Well, the timing was probably not the best in the world, with Kera’s passing just a couple of weeks prior to the puppy in question turning the magic age of eight weeks.

Kenzo, the new crew member.

I had so hoped that Kera would stick around to meet little Kenzo but it was not meant to be. She liked having new life in the house. A few months before we lost her, I had a client’s Bulldog puppy for two days and she came right out to greet her with a smile. Her joy was evident.

I should back up a bit for some background information. A very dear and generous friend presented me with the idea of this precious gift to me when the mother (a rare breed) was bred. As most of you know, I have always had rescue dogs so I would not have chosen to get a breeder pup at that time. Not that it is a bad thing. Not at all but rescue was my thing then. I would have chosen to haunt Petfinder with the hope of finding the perfect new addition, when I was ready. But adding a male, which is what I wanted, would be a job since Merlin and Kera were the confident members of my crew. Siri and Trent especially would feel threatened by all but the perfect dog. So adding a puppy was an attractive (for them) thought.

When the idea of the puppy was presented to me, I was not at all ready. I said that I would consider it. I would know when it was closer to the time to make such a decision. My friend later emailed me that the puppy that she had in mind for me, who I already had pictures of by this time, had an issue with his eyes that he may or may not grow out of. They vibrated with his pulse when he was stressed. I felt, when told that, that he belonged here. Maybe that made him more of a rescue in my eyes; maybe it made him just slightly off center, like the rest of my dogs and me. Whatever the reason, it was then I knew.

But knowing and doing are two different things. Between knowing and doing, we lost Kera and a whole new set of grieving patterns emerged. Now I was not only grieving Merlin, I was grieving Kera and Merlin and a lost way of life. It started to look like I would have to make a decision to make things better by forcing a change or to stay in a state of depression that would be very easy to settle into. Change is difficult. Few people truly welcome it. It’s far easier to stay with what you know, no matter how miserable you actually are.

So Kenzo joined us, ready or not. Siri and Trent were clearly getting as used to depression as I was and I could not allow that to happen. They had not played for more than a minute or two since Merlin left us. Kera was not one to play much recently. Merlin played every night almost up until his passing. I missed that so much and I wanted play back in our lives.

At first, resentment was the primary emotion exhibited by Siri and to an extent, Trent. Trent, to give him credit, showed much more immediate interest in Kenzo, seeing perhaps an opportunity to be the top dog he never has been with the other crew members. Kenzo was properly respectful.

Siri, on the other hand, spent so much time under the living room end table that we had an emergency room visit for a pulled neck muscle. A week into Kenzo’s tenure here, with some muscle relaxers and pain medication in her system, she investigated Kenzo and found to her delight, that he welcomed her advances, in all it’s roughness. Siri has always been, along with Merlin, my crew member most fond of puppies. Kenzo brought that trait back out again finally, with a vengeance. Now she “rolls” him nightly. She is getting more exercise, something else that fell by the wayside when the playing paused.

Trent started to feel jealous that Siri was only playing with Kenzo. Trent and Siri are thick as thieves but that relationship has had some kinks when the playing halted. Siri and Trent are now renewing their mutual fondness for playing and this has helped Trent be more welcoming to playing with Kenzo.

I know that I will have to keep an eye on the interactions as far as playing goes, as Kenzo grows and matures. But things feel a lot more hopeful now. I wish that it meant that no tears are falling now. But that would not be true. Trying to fill a void caused some feelings of betrayal to my lost loves on my part. But In know that neither Merlin nor Kera would want this house to be filled with tears. They would want laughter and joy, especially Merlin, who lived his life with fun being the number one priority. So I am trying very hard to honor that desire without feeling guilty. I think he would be pleased. I think they both would be.

Tags: caucasian ovcharka, caucasian shepherd, filling the void, heartbreak, Kenzo, loss, mourning a dog, new addition, new puppy

And Then There Were Two: Kera leaves us to join Merlin

Loss is never easy. Even when you expect it, which given I had a 13-1/2 year old dog with progressing kidney failure and dementia, it was expected. But never welcome. Especially on the heels of my still painful loss of Merlin just over eight months ago.

Kera was Merlin’s long time companion. He picked her and she picked him. One month into having Merlin in my life, I was set on having more than one dog. Merlin and I arrived at the shelter that I adopted him from as well as volunteered at, to pick up a dog who was to have an overnighter with us. Coming out of the back door for a walk with a volunteer was the most beautiful white puppy I had ever seen. Merlin targeted her immediately to say, “Hi.” She did the same to him. I later learned that her interest in him was the first interest she had shown in anything since she arrived at the shelter. She came from a hoarding situation and had not been socialized at all, having lived outside and barely fed.

The overnighter with the other dog did not work out, the age difference between Merlin and the potential adoptee being too great to overcome. I immediately applied for Kera, known as Daisy at the time, only to be told that I was third in line for her. Volunteer status carried no weight. I crossed my fingers and hoped. Thankfully, the other two potential adopters never followed up so a week or so later, she came home with Merlin and I.

Merlin was delighted with his “gift”. After a brief “I don’t want to share my mom” snit that just meant Merlin pretended to be the boss, they were thick as thieves. Together, they immediately wreaked havoc on my belongings. I was so besotted! But tired! Training two puppies at the same time makes working out unnecessary. They were the workout! But double the trouble also meant double the joy. Two puppies, one black, one white made my world so complete. We did everything together. Love me, love my puppies.

Fast forward a few years. A litter of foster puppies arrived. Kera chose to keep Siri from that litter. She was not a fan of puppies at all, once she grew up but she liked Siri immensely so she stayed. Kera approved Trent as well, playing with him like no other foster before him, so he remained as well. Merlin “wore the pants” among the dogs in general but Kera had final say always. If anyone got to close to her while roughhousing, look out, you would get what I came fondly to call “uggie face”. It caused even the largest scariest of dogs to back off FAST!

Kera brought so much joy to living. I have never seen a dog outside of the Lab breed enjoy eating a regular meal so much as Kera. She danced when I announced dinner. When I started them all on the raw diet, she was the reason that I never turned back. Merlin hated it at first but Kera took one look and taste and looked at me as if to say, “What took you so long?”

When Merlin was being treated for cancer, my mind was so focused on that journey that I did not immediately connect the dots that Kera’s behavior had changed a bit. Of course, they were little things then or it would have been glaringly obvious, even to me in my chaotic state. When he passed away and she walked on him smiling, when offered her chance to say goodbye, I could no longer ignore the mental decline. Enter Anipryl, the miracle drug for doggy dementia. I had my baby girl back for a while. But as the dementia progressed, it took an increasingly higher dosage for her to stay on top of things. Soon she was just focusing on knowing us when she had her pill. But that’s okay, we loved her dearly. I was happy with just having her know who we were.

But sadly, dementia was not the only condition that age brought to her. Kidney failure was diagnosed shortly after the dementia, after a multitude of tests. The administering of fluids every other day began, with great success at first. But with time, she needed more and within the last couple of months, it started to be daily. Several times in the past several months, I thought that I was going to lose her. But she always rebounded when I was sure it was time to say goodbye. Then she started to decline again. Enter phosphorous binders, courtesy of Ali Brown who had just lost Acacia, her own kidney failure dog (read more). They really made a difference for a while. I was elated again. A remote Reiki session also helped her feel better for a bit.

But you only get so many reprieves with this disease. I noticed she was having more and more trouble walking and sadly, I did not notice that she was having some trouble breathing when lying down until it was pointed it out after the second Reiki session. A couple of days ago, she stopped eating even dinner, which she had relished. This was almost immediately after her second Reiki session. The Reiki healer, who is also an intuitive, advised me that Kera felt that she had fulfilled her role of filling the space that Merlin had left. Her not eating dinner felt to me like she had given up pretense now that she had “told me” through the intuitive. I had to coax even the smallest amount into her now. I hoped that she was wrong and waited for the rebound that happened after the previous Reiki session but it never happened. But in the previous Reiki session Kera, said nothing of this.

Her last night with us, I laid with her most of the night, after being awakened by more labored breathing than usual. I thought that she had to potty and took her out but she didn’t go and it only got slightly better. I made my decision then. I could not bear to hear her suffer.

I almost changed my mind the day of her passing when she ate some lunchmeat at breakfast, smiled happily during her short walk and then suddenly decided that she was ravenous for a very early dinner that I fed her on a hunch. But lying down after dinner was revealing in her breathing and inability to get comfortable. She even let out some small sighs combined with barely audible cries. I beat myself up for not noticing this sooner. It was clear that she was tired and it was time to join Merlin.

Kera went very peacefully, with her beloved Siri and Trent in attendance on her favorite living room bed. Hospice in-home vets are worth their weight in gold. There is no way that I could have let her go on a cold metal table that would have scared her. I wanted her to feel safe where she always did. I like to think that she would appreciate that. Interestingly, after telling my friends on the internet what happened, I logged off to see a lock of Kera’s hair on the floor behind me where it wasn’t when I logged on. And then a few hours later, while getting laundry out of the washer, I found an angel pin that I had not seen in some time. One of Kera’s nicknames was angel puppy. My hope is that she was letting me know that she was safe.

But the house is so empty now. No Kera, no Merlin. No one plays here now. I like to see play. I like to see engagement. I need to figure out how to revive that with Siri and Trent. They have not played for real since Merlin left us; so keeping up their spirits is my new motivation.

Right now, I don’t even really qualify as a multiple dog household. This is so new to me. I have had at least three dogs at once for ten years now. Walks are too easy. Meals are too easy. Everything is too easy. Extra time here now is not welcome. In time, that will change but for now we will learn how to adjust and we will mourn. We will, however, never ever forget how precious the lives that we choose to share our lives with are and how much shorter their time is here than ours. But that is a pain that we bear in order to have the wonderful love that they give us. Be at peace, sweet sweet Kera and run free with your love, sweet Merlin.

Too Many Dogs? How Many IS Too Many?

The answer to that question lies in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. Two is too many for some households, ten is too few for others. My own personal best number feels happiest at four. I cannot tell you why I feel that way. That is just when solid peace and contentment fully seem to set in. (at this time of editing, I only have two but one is 160# so he counts for more!) But truthfully, that is only because I am the sole human in residence at the moment. There is only so much one person can do, in my opinion. There would be more if I had more help!

I used to think I was the oddball when having four dogs raised so many eyebrows. Having run a rescue for thirteen odd years, four was the fewest residence most of the time. I once had nine here, five of them being puppies. That was a hectic time! I have had eight adult dogs at once, with four being either boarders or temporary fosters on their way somewhere else. Again, hectic!

Not too many dogs for this home. Photo courtesy of Katharine Weber.

Not being a fan of hectic, I have since learned to pace myself. Someday, when I have more room, both inside and outside and possibly another human to assist, I want more dogs as the status quo, but until that day comes, I will stick with a maximum of four permanent canine residents.

The reasons for this will shortly become clear. I have a check-list of minimum requirements for a multiple dog household. My own personal check list includes the basics, of course, such as appropriate affectionate attention to all, exercise (both physical and mental) sufficient to maintain canine (and human!) sanity, extra curricular dog activities when appropriate and cash flow sufficient to properly feed and vet all. Vetting, for me, also includes a monthly pet insurance payment, which actually makes the actual sickness and illness vetting process much easier. Peace of mind does have a price after all!

Your mileage may vary. But my own preferences aside, providing for physical and mental needs is important. Remember, your crew must trust that you can take care of their baseline needs in order to FULLY trust you, so this forms the basis of that trust. Do not take that need lightly.

Space is important as far as how many dogs you actually have room for in your home. Indoor space is important, but breed types can determine how important your indoor and outdoor space is. For example, if you have multiple Great Danes, although large, in general, they are not in need of a lot of exercise and running room so a large yard is not necessary. They are also known for liking to lounge around the house so again, as long as you have the space to accommodate such lounging, your house need not be large.

On the other side of the equation, having multiple true to type herding breeds such as Border Collies, will make you wish that you not only have a large fenced yard but a few sheep to herd as well! Know your breed preference requirements when deciding on a happy number for your household!

Multiples mean more work such as laundry, vacuuming, poop scooping, training, walking but also more fun, more laughs, more kisses and love. You have to decide what your own limit it.

One other caveat that is of vital importance: everyone should get along. No one should have to live with permanent barriers between dogs who get along so badly that that there are safety concerns. Mistakes WILL happen. Eventually. So if there’s no fixing the problem, consider re-homing the most recently added crew member who is part of the problem.

Now that I have covered all the high points of how many is appropriate, take the time to tell me in the spaces below, what your crew consists of and why if there is a why? Join me in celebrating a household of multiples!

Tags: can, collies, danes, dogs, exercise, four, have, hectic, how, i, many, maximum, needs, nine, outside, poop, rescue, space, training

Can You Feel the Love? Dogs and Emotion

Updated February 14, 2022. This was originally written in 2012. We know better now. Dogs clearly love!

Do dogs love? I was recently very startled to hear someone I thought of as pretty dog savvy, say that dogs don’t think nor feel. They only act out of instinct. I don’t think a statement exists that I disagree with more than this one. This statement was made in reference to dog/dog relations, but either way it is inaccurate.

Do these dogs have feelings for each other or does it only appear that way?

I could fill another book with the whole “do dogs think” part of this statement but since solid information supporting thinking in dogs is not only prevalent anywhere you care you look including science, I will simply address the feeling part of this equation.

Several brilliant minds well known in the behavior world, with far more initials following their names than I have, have already addressed the matter of dogs and emotions before. This information is also available in print. They have come to the same conclusion that I have.

Of course they feel emotions! One only has to live with and observe them with any regularity, to fully grasp this fact. Personally, I think it’s especially obvious when dealing with multiple dog households. If at least two of them get along, that is.

Dog/dog interactions aside, whether a dog feels emotions or not, also applies to their interactions with humans as well. To be blunt, why have a dog or any pet for that matter, if there is no mutual bond to share? The thought baffles me.

Of course, all of the “evidence” I will be discussing here, is anecdotal. For science, see Patricia McConnell, Marc Bekoff and Vilmos Cysani for starters. But I am not a scientist; I am a dog behavior consultant. I don’t conduct double blind studies in sterile labs. I do, however, make my living observing dog behavior. This observation that I do, gives me the information that I need to successfully modify the behavior for the better, of my client’s dogs. I have to assume that my observations have thus far been pretty accurate since my clients are pretty happy with the results.

My observations so far are too numerous to catalog in entirety on this subject. But my knowledge of this subject is not limited to my observations alone. Plenty of dog caretakers have the same stories to tell. My story that doesn’t come from my own experience, is from a friend who I asked to let my dogs out while I was gone too long one day. My friend commented that Trent was very protective of Kera, who is suffering from not only canine dementia but also kidney failure. She said that he stuck very close to her in my yard when she let them out to potty.

Siri declined a potty break that day, so clearly she had no qualms about Kera’s safety with my friend, who is by the way very well known to my dogs. I told my friend that Trent had never done that when I was there, not in the yard any way. Both Siri and Trent are attentive to her needs including indicating that they are waiting for her when need be. Trent is also very mannerly about letting Kera enter doorways first, when mannerly is not necessarily his foremost trait. So this story was interesting to me.

I have too many stories of my own observation to list. Trent took great care of Merlin in his last months. He was very focused on cleaning his ears frequently as well as circling him when he was walking with him to seemingly ensure his safety when he was tired. Siri stood sentry by the truck the day Merlin wasn’t up for getting out at our favorite spot until he finally did venture out. Then she followed him while he walked slowly. She does the same thing with Kera now.

Siri’s brother, Xander was almost inconsolable at first when his “big sister” Mona passed away. He wasn’t present the loss so he only knew that she left one day and never came back.

When Merlin spent the day and an overnight at the vet’s for an operation, the other dogs were visibly ruffled. The joy that they greeted him with when we picked him up the next day was undeniable. They were very gentle and careful with him.

They shared the loss when we had to say goodbye to him. I made sure that they were present so that they would know what transpired. I wanted them to understand and the transition was much easier for them than it was for Xander and his Mona.

Trent adores Siri. He fawns over her as often as she allows him to do so. He would be lost without her. He would lay on her if she would let him.

Almost every multiple dog guardian I know has stories like this. Many include other species in the bond, in addition to a dog/dog one. Feel free to add your story in the spaces below. Let’s dispel the old fashioned myth together.

Tags: adore, behavior, consultant, dogs, emotion, feeling, gentle, happy, household, many, minds, modify, multiple, myth, puppy, relations, respect, safety, science, train

Changing of the Guard? No, Just “the New Normal”

I have guarding breeds, mostly anyway. My beloved Merlin was a Doberman mix. I knew that he was the most alert of my crew but I guess it never occurred to me just how much more alert he was than the rest of my crew. Siri is a Rottweiler/GSD mix. Kera is GSD/something Northern mix. Trent is Pit Bull/Shar Pei mix. They all have some guarding heritage yet now that Merlin is gone, they rarely alert now. At least not when I am around, other than in one small way which I will explain further along.

The new normal means different dynamics.

We are about a week or so into the seventh month since Merlin’s passing. It is rare than anyone takes “his” seat in the Xterra. That is strange, since Siri is a 90# girl and she lies in the spot next to where Merlin reigned, yet I can count on one hand how often she has ventured into “his” side of the seat. Any of those times has been accompanied by the slightest smile, like she wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate or possibly even that she was just a bit proud at having achieved such a status.

Now in the house, it’s a bit different. Occasionally, Siri will lie on “his” bed in the living room or even more often, in “his” spot next to the bed in the living room, just like he favored. She also will as often lie in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, another super favorite spot of only Merlin’s. She never did this before he passed. When she does this now, I get the feeling that she is trying to connect with him and/or help me connect with him. I cannot explain why. It is what it is. She doesn’t do it that often and no one else does it. She does do it much more frequently than she ventures into “his” spot in the car though.

Now Trent is different. Where Siri is more relaxed, he seems more vigilant. He seems to always want to know where I am in the house these days. I am not sure whether he is worried about me or worried about himself. I think that maybe he feels that he is now the “man” of the house since Merlin is gone and he is not necessarily up to such a task. He is more aware on walks of every little thing and worry doesn’t suit him well. I am working on assuring him that I have it covered. He misses Merlin a lot. We all do. But Trent is a worrier and now he worries much more.

Kera is not affected by any of this. Although I am sure that she misses her life partner, as I can feel it here and there when I say his name, she now sleeps in his bed quite happily. It is probably a blessing more than a curse for the sake of not grieving like the rest of us, but she suffers from doggy dementia and is on medication for it. But meds are not enough to fully restore the Kera that was. So she is mostly blissfully unaware of what the rest of us see.

So back to the guarding issue; aside from this hesitancy to step into the physical areas that Merlin “possessed”, there is also a real lack of in-home/in-car alerting that has developed among my crew. I was very much used to having to assure everyone, whenever a knock on the door occurred without warning, that all was well in the homestead and that mom had it all covered. Merlin was first at the door, of course, but the others were only a hair behind, “helping” him let everyone know that the castle was well guarded.

This is no longer the case. The pizza guy can knock (delivering a salad for those who know me well), and if they notice this event, it’s on a time delay status. The same goes for when friends arrive. It is not until said friend is safely ensconced inside that they come barreling down the stairs (Siri and Trent anyway) and greet the friend. The same thing happens in the car. Siri was notorious for not permitting unknown people near the car even if I was in it. Now people can come straight up to us if I say it’s okay.

This is not to say that when I am not home or they are alone in the car, they are not guarding the castle (and carriage). That remains status quo. I hear that when I come home from outside, before they know it’s me or see it if someone gets too close to my car. The guarding or lack thereof is most evident when I am there. They now trust that I “have it” controlled.

Does this mean that Merlin didn’t trust that? No, not at all. He just liked to help, which is normal for his breed. And I liked that he helped. And the others liked to help him. They respected him. Merlin was more of a partner than my other dogs. We were very connected mentally and he knew when to hand off things to me and when he should handle things.

Now the rest of my crew seem hesitant to overstep bounds when I am there. They do not possess the confidence that Merlin did. There are both good and bad sides to “the new normal”. The good is that my dogs trust that I can handle crisis. The bad is that I really miss having a crew of dogs blast towards the door when a sound alerts them. I like that. I want it back to a certain extent. I guess this desire means that another guarding breed is imminent at some point. A dog with the proper confidence to carry this trait off. But I am not sure that I want to rock the boat of “the new normal”. It is interesting to me how dynamics change so much when a crew member with such a powerful personality is missing. I would love to hear from others who have had similar experiences.

Leader of the Pack? There are leaders and Then There are Leaders

Pack leader. That term has such negative connotations to myself and other professional positive reinforcement trainers, that I strongly dislike using the word “pack” at all. I don’t find it accurate in terms of how dogs live. I prefer “crew” to “pack”. I have no problem with the term “leader” because dogs need a leader. Everyone does in some way; but especially those who entrust us with their care. They are in many ways, like children who never grow up but one must never make the mistake of thinking that they are four-footed humans with fur. That analogy would not be accurate.

Total harmony on the couch.

It is fine, however to think of the social structure that they like to live in, in much the same way as a human family. The word family will suffice just as much as the word crew does. I am in favor of anything that limits a human from comparing dogs to wolves in order to use that comparison as a way to modify their behavior. Dogs are not wolves, they are distant cousins. Are you the same as your distant cousins? I thought not.

Leaders guide, in much the same way as parents do. Leaders provide structure, training, safety and care for all basic needs. Leaders should not be scary or physically intimidate or harm their charges in any way, including emotionally. Some so called “experts” advise such intimidation tactics to keep their “pack” in line. I prefer a more benevolent parental approach. I am a small statured female with large dogs, so obviously my own approach works well or the inmates would be running the asylum, right???

Manners are easy to implement without force. Real leadership involves respect that goes both ways, between both crew members and the crew leader. Respect is earned, not forced. You never need show your ‘alpha” status to your crew, you simply need to supply the afore mentioned list of provisions. It’s all good from there.

I have written plenty in the past about the process of how manners are instilled so I will not repeat it now. I should, however, probably disclose why I chose this subject now. Easy enough to do: my last blog was about an unfortunate incident here locally involving a baby and a Siberian Husky. The baby was killed. Since this incident occurred, I have read a few commentaries by various people, some famous, some not, who declared that a baby needs to be of a higher status than any dog in the house. Plainly put, that is crazy talk. The crew simply needs to have manners that are consistently rewarded and the human adults need to be the ones that provide that input, primarily. Management tends to the rest of the equation.

Leadership is the most important thing that you can do for your crew. Tell me how you handle this in your own home.