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On Demand: Offering Manners vs. a Militant Nothing-in-Life-is-Free Program (NILIF)

On Demand: Offering Manners vs. a Militant Nothing-in-Life-is-Free Program (NILIF)

I recently had a misguided person try to post a comment to one of my blogs that was not actually about the blog’s subject so I chose not to approve it. But aside from not responding to the subject matter at hand, the comment was urging some old fashioned training advice. In the commenter’s words, she was urging a “militant Nothing in Life is Free” approach, in order to keep peace among multiple males.

Jennifer Bird of Furkid Rescue enjoys a partnership with her crew. Photo by Caleb Green.

Jennifer Bird of Furkid Rescue enjoys a partnership with her crew. Photo by Caleb Green.

For those of you who are not familiar with this “program”, it used to be used by lots of dog trainers, positive and balanced alike. It involves commanding dogs to provide some behavior before receiving any kind of resource, be it dinner or affection. The initial goal was to convey the human’s higher status. These days, when the program is suggested by most modern trainers, it is used much differently than in the past.

Why? Because we now know more about dogs and hierarchy and dog behavior in general, especially how they learn best. Commanding has evolved into cueing and among the best trainers and dog parents, much behavior is taught to be offered rather than demanded. Teaching dogs to make better choices and offer the appropriate behavior in many situations not only makes for less work on the owner’s part, it makes for a more polite dog overall.

Rather than demand a sit for dinner, dogs learn to offer it as a matter of routine. The same applies to other high value resources such as passing through doorways, when receiving treats and chew bones, etc. Raised surfaces are another area where manners may need apply but unless a dog is guarding surfaces on a regular basis, my dogs need not ask permission before climbing onto the couch. Militant NILIF users believe differently. The same applies to affection. Now that is not something I am going to expect a sit or something else in order to offer. I share my life dogs because I love dogs and I want to show affection to them and have them do the same without some self entitled gratuitous offering of them bowing down in some way to have that happen.

Of course if a dog is overwhelming in the way that they offer affection to their humans, impulse control gets trained in every situation, including this. But there is no demanding going on. It’s all about teaching a dog to self moderate his or her behavior in order to get what he or she wants.

This person was very focused on an extremely structured approach that bordered on military style, including the wording used. Dogs are social creatures. They thrive in a family atmosphere. Teach them what the boundaries are in a benevolent manner and most will gladly aim to please when rewarded for doing so. Sentient behavior 101. There is no need to run your canine crew like a bunch of military recruits. That is not how you build trust; that is actually a good way to erode it!

Make no mistake, I expect manners in my home and that is what I teach my clients to expect, as well, from their own crews. But as previously noted, there is no need to demand anything. Reward what you want and you get more of it. This is not the place to explain in depth how capturing, shaping and other positive reinforcement methods are done properly. There are other excellent sources for such information. My goal here is to dispel the myth that one needs to be worried about petting one’s dog without demanding said dog perform feats first.

I have fostered many dogs and the first thing I teach them is impulse control. This is taught with a combination of capturing and management. I don’t issue orders. As another trainer recently stated in a well written article about commands versus cues, my dogs don’t have to sit, they get to sit. They LOVE to sit and I rarely have to ask and when I do, it’s with body language and hand signals, not demands. Benevolence is your word for the day, dear readers. Lead by example, not with an iron fist.

For more on this subject, I suggest Kathy Sdao’s wonderful book, Plenty in Life is Free.

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Happily Ever After? Sometimes, It’s Not an Easy Feat.

Happily Ever After? Sometimes, It’s Not an Easy Feat.

I get a lot of inquiries through my training business for help with multiple dog issues. Most are fixable; some with an easy tweak, some with more effort, some would be easy if people would use simple common sense. Some are sadly not fixable, but not fixable is thankfully rare, at least in my experiences.

My most frustrating cases involve people who have good intentions but don’t think things through and expect a magic solution. Unfortunately, there are no magic solutions.

The basic facts are this….if your current dog has not been exposed to or doesn’t like other dogs, getting a puppy (with or without training said puppy) will not go over well with your current dog. There is no magic wand that will fix this situation. Only solid behavior modification for the adult dog and training for the puppy, will “fix” the situation. Benevolent leadership and taking a parental role in the situation will go a long way towards a remedy.

Three dogs, one is being snarky.

I wish that I had an easier solution, I really do. Part of the problem that I run into is that I cannot change a person’s basic personality. You either are comfortable being a leader or you aren’t. Some aspects of this position can be taught and some can’t. I find myself in the position of seeing very workable scenarios with people who are not comfortable taking the lead.

A dog who has had his or her life spent in a certain comfortable routine won’t easily be happy changing said routine without feeling safe with the household leadership. This plays a key role in whether your dog rolls with the changes easily or not. Dogs need to know that you “got this covered”. In particular, an adult dog who either has already shown a dislike for other dogs or has never been exposed to other dogs, will rest far easier knowing that you will keep them safe from puppy stupidity.

I have had both successes and failures with this particular scenario. It so very much depends on the determination of the owner to make things work and above all, the ability of the owners to “step up” and take the reins of benevolent leadership. This does not in any way, shape or form, involve using force or being “dominant”. What is does involve is being the human that keeps the peace. It involves being the human who will keep everyone in the home safe. That includes teaching the new puppy manners so that the resident dog feels safer exploring the new dog. It involves spending time acclimating said resident dog to the new puppy in a positive manner. This usually doesn’t happen overnight.

Buy the book, How Many Dogs?! click here

Many people continue to believe that the best way to fix a conflict is to allow the dogs to “work it out”. That could not be further from the truth. Someone needs to make the decisions about what is and isn’t allowable with all canines involved. That same someone is expected to set guidelines and limits and kindly enforce both as well as teaching everyone to make better decisions. Dogs thrive with routine and structure. Show them what is expected of them and that YOU, the HUMAN, will keep them safe from harm and take care of all basic needs and it all flows more smoothly from there.

When the human “in charge” is uncertain or anxious about the situation at hand, it’s evident to all the canines in the household. Safety is a primary need of all living creatures. Uncertainty and anxiety create stress and stress creates conflict when the dynamics are unstable.

My own situation with Trent and Kenzo would be disastrous in a less skilled household. There would have already been bloodshed. But things go well because *I* set the rules. Trent knows I am keeping him safe. Kenzo has been taught what is and isn’t acceptable. Supervise, supervise, supervise is the name of the game here with a gradual increase in privileges.

For those of you reading this before getting a new addition to your family; if you have a dog that already has issues with other dogs, then fix that first. Don’t just assume things will fall into place because you get a puppy rather than an adult dog. It just doesn’t work that way. It might but again, it might not. It’s frustrating to see situations that could be fixed easily by changing the humans, not the dogs.

The bottom line for success with a potential conflict between new canine housemates is to feel comfortable taking the lead. I can show you what to do, tell you what to do, guide you along the process but I cannot do it for you. I don’t live with your dogs, you do.

Those who have successfully worked through this process, please share your experiences in the spaces below. Failure stories are welcome as well.

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An Intervention is in Order: Canine Bullies in a Multiple Dog Household

An Intervention is in Order: Canine Bullies in a Multiple Dog Household

It used to be called being dominant, and in some circles it still is, sadly. But this behavior is actually simple bullying. As with humans, bullying is always inappropriate. It can arise for several reasons, among them insecurity, anxiety, juvenile behavior in young adults and puppies and just plain old bad manners.

Being a bully has nothing to do with the breed of the dog who is the bully. Any breed can be a bully. Puppies who are very exuberant and having difficulty learning impulse control are prime targets to become a bully when allowed unchecked in a multiple dog household. Possessing a good temperament otherwise will not prevent a puppy from becoming a bully. One can be a canine bully and be a nice dog otherwise, which is where this act typically differs with human bullies.

Posturing Dogs

Those who have children and who are raising them with limits and guidelines that are parentally enforced will understand this advice immediately. Dogs are not furry children (see here for more on that) but they are equally in need of structure and knowing what is appropriate or not. It is very important to set limits and provide said structure.

We as humans are not meant to be “pack leaders”; dogs know that we are a different species; I can assure you of this! What we are meant to be, however, is the human who provides for all their needs. This includes the need for clearly communicated boundaries, guidelines, information and reward incentives as well as non-scary consequences for infractions of said rules.

Boundaries should include, but are not limited to, preventing/intervening with these inappropriate activities:
• “nagging” any other dog for any reason.
•  sniffing body parts of another dog for lengthy periods of time (especially when the receiver is obviously     uncomfortable)
• insistence on play when the other party is not interested
• ”pacing” another dog (physically matching their walking pace outside of the realm of interactive play)
• “walk bys” of another dog (seemingly benign walking by another dog with the intent of intimidation)
• body slamming another dog in greeting
• being “in your face” intrusive without an invitation to do so
• any posturing meant to intimidate.

Buy the book, How Many Dogs?! click here

The list is longer than the above but it’s nearly impossible to include every scenario. Multiple dog households parents really owe it to themselves and their charges to educate themselves on dog body language and appropriate play. There are several ways to do this. There are a few well done books available that have great information on body language as well as the go-to DVD on this subject by Sarah Kalnajs. The newest option for this is Lili Chin’s fabulous “Doggie Body Language“. Another option is to attend organized playgroups that are supervised by behavior professionals familiar with both positive reinforcement training and dog body language. Watching the interaction through their eyes can help with viewing your own crew more clearly. You get to see what needs interrupted and what doesn’t.

Positive never means permissive when inappropriate behavior is being demonstrated. It is completely possible to intervene appropriately without causing fear or using force. Human to dog body language is useful to learn for this practice. When your crew respects your ability to set boundaries in a clear and concise manner without using an iron fist, they feel safe and secure responding to your cues to cease and desist.

Often the simple act of clearing one’s throat and throwing a pointed look at the offender will be enough to interrupt poor choices in an otherwise well structured household. Quietly placing your body between the two or more dogs involved can cause an immediate deflection. This is called splitting and dogs use it too. Using what I call “the mom stance”, hands on hips with a disappointed look on your face, can stop an incident if implemented soon enough. Well marked and timed Time Outs are worth the effort to learn to implement correctly. Read here for more on that.

Those who follow my blog, know that I have a puppy in my household at present (at the time of this original writing). Puppies are rude until taught otherwise. Sometimes I intervene, sometimes another dog intervenes appropriately for me. This can be permitted if you know what is appropriate in a canine correction and what isn’t. For example Kenzo, the puppy, stole Trent’s bone and Trent did not stop him. So I retrieved it for him. It took three retrievals and a “mom” look to eliminate this behavior on this particular day. A fourth attempt on Kenzo’s part would have resulted in a time out. I give three tries on benign behavior.

But later the same evening, Kenzo tried on his big boy pants and made a posturing move towards Trent. I did not have time to intervene nor did Trent have time to object because Siri intervened for both of us, immediately and quite correctly. She split between them with her body immediately and roared a bit at Kenzo, quite appropriately, without hurting him. She did, however, make enough of an impression (based on the size of his eyes!) that I am certain that he won’t try that again soon. So while you cannot simply allow the dogs to work it out among themselves, you can periodically rely on dogs who have appropriate mediation skills.

So it is possible to have a multiple dog household with several strong personalities, without having strong conflict, if you learn how to intervene when appropriate. One of the easiest ways to help non-professionals understand how early on it can be necessary to step in is to equate what is happening to toddlers doing an equivalent behavior. If your two year old was shoving your three year old or vice versa, are you going to wait for them to ‘work it out on their own”? I certainly hope not! Don’t allow those kinds of decisions to be made in your canine household either and all will flow much more smoothly!

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The Nature of the Beast: Respecting Your Dogs for Who They Are

The Nature of the Beast: Respecting Your Dogs for Who They Are

This is one of those subjects that should automatic knowledge in humans but it never fails to surprise me how often I need to remind people of this. Dogs are not small furry humans. That statement may annoy some people, but it’s really important for any dog parent to grasp this fact fully.

Dogs don’t usually come trained for what any given dog parent wants, nor do they understand human words without having been taught said human words. If you acquired a dog fully trained for your needs, then thank the universe as soon as you can! You are a lucky human and your dog is equally lucky.

Though not typically already acquainted with the words we want them to know, they sure do understand human tones of voices and body language/intent. This is also important to understand as some dog owners talk about “he knew he did something wrong”. Well no, not really, he just knew you were really unhappy because of your body language and/or your tone of voice. He also knew that very likely the last time you sounded like that, it did not bode well for a snuggle session for him.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the dogs from the humans.

I have had far too many experiences lately with dog owners having unrealistic expectations of their dog(s). Dogs are just that: dogs. If it helps people to understand this better, owners should equate the age expectations of puppies with humans of a similar age. IE: puppies vs. infants. Would you expect an infant to understand taking care of his digestion elimination needs in the bathroom from an age of say 3 months? Then don’t expect a puppy to immediately get housetraining, especially with human timing being the key player to learning!

Growing up emotionally and physically is incremental. Children go to school for twelve years for a very good reason. Each year builds on the previous year’s knowledge and learning. Dogs need incremental learning as well. The same theory applies to dogs that may be adults in age, but never having the benefit of appropriate training, they are the equivalent of a human getting a GED after having reached the age of graduation. They key to surviving training either is patience.

Buy the book, How Many Dogs?! click here

No sane person would place a baby on the ground outside and expect him to come when called. Then why expect a similar response from a puppy or a dog with no previous training? Puppies, like babies, learn by exploring and showing interest in their surroundings. It is normal for a puppy to explore. It is up to the human caretaker to set limits and guidelines. The same applies to the adult dog learning guidelines for the first time.

Without recovering a previous topic, limits and guidelines should be pleasantly enforced, not scary and painful. Think good parenting 101, if you will. Be the human that your dog turns to for knowledge, info and benevolent guidance. Set your guidelines realistically. Be the best connection your puppy/dog has and you won’t fail.

If your dog/puppy is getting into mischief when you are out of sight, then be in sight. They don’t know they are doing something inappropriate when they are out of your sight. They have more freedom than is called for if they have the chance to get into something inappropriate. Supervise, supervise, SUPERVISE! As my favorite magnet gifted to me by a dear friend says, “Don’t Complain, TRAIN”. Agreed wholeheartedly!

I cannot count how many times I have heard someone say that that their dog doesn’t respond to basic word “commands”. I prefer the word cue vs. command, but the point of this is that first you have to make sure that your puppy/dog has been fully taught the meaning of the word that is being (typically) overused. Puppies/dogs are English as a second language creatures. This means that they need taught the action first, then to have the action associated with a word cue. Repeating words that have no meaning to a dog will only frustrate you and your dog. They will understand enough to know that you are unhappy but not why you are unhappy.

The best gift that you can give yourself and your puppy or your newly acquired adult dog is to get registered in a quality training class or treat yourself to a qualified in-home trainer. Learning how to effectively communicate properly with your dog(s) will last a lifetime and there is no price on that kind of happiness.

Consider it a celebratory light bulb moment in your lives when you have a mutual meeting of the minds. Those who remember when you first had these moments, please take a moment to tell below to share it with us all. Hand to paw for more.

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Time in a Bottle: Finding Time to Meet the Needs of a Multiple Dog Household

Puppies are time consuming. That statement doesn’t even begin to properly convey the situation. Let me emphasize it. PUPPIES ARE TIME CONSUMING!!! I am a pro at this game and *I* am tired, so I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must be to non-pros.

It has been very beneficial to me as a dog training and behavior professional to have a puppy in my life. But it sure has brought home the point of time constraints. However, the main difference between myself and my clients, aside from how I make my living, is that I know how to live with my puppy in such a way that I am teaching him beneficial info pretty much every moment that I interact with him.

Kenzon at 5 months

Kenzon at 5 months

I strive to teach this to my clients as well, but it’s not something that comes as second nature by instinct, unless of course you happen to be a dog trainer! Learning how to do this can be done but it’s not what most people are used to. Training by default can make your life easier but it involves making changes to your routine. Learning to wait for the behavior that you want can be the hardest thing to do for some people. But being patient is the best gift you can give yourself and your crew.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Enlisting the aid of your adult dogs, provided they have reliable behaviors that you can reward will make your workload lighter. That is a gift from any angle! Siri and Trent are good role models for Kenzo as they are appropriate in any situation in the house. I never have to worry where they are and what they are doing. The same was true of Merlin and Kera. I like life this way so this is my goal with Kenzo. I notice the behavior that I want with the older dogs so Kenzo hears this praise and makes note of it. This has helped considerably in the kitchen, with meals. I can now trust Kenzo to wait until he is served, usually after the others are served, to build impulse control.

The same good example setting takes place on walks, with exaggerated verbal praise for what I want, being noticed by Kenzo. Of course, at his age, his exploratory nature takes first precedence, but seeing or hearing his “big brother and sister” getting some serious attention can remind him that there is virtue in paying attention to his family when outside.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Most of the time, my schedule would make even the most die-hard type A personality run for cover so it’s imperative that I make the most of the time I do have. I believe in making my actions count. So far, the basics are taking care of themselves, thanks to this method. Now onto to stepping up his social schedule so that he remains well socialized with other dogs. Wish me time in a bottle!

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A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

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Correct Me If I’m Wrong? I Have a Better Idea

Correct Me If I’m Wrong? I Have a Better Idea

This may not strike you as a multiple dog subject and strictly speaking, it isn’t. But it’s a dog behavior subject that affects all dogs so that is multiple enough for me. I have been mulling this subject over for some time now, prompted by recent conversations I have had with a couple of people, all via internet, which is never the best venue.

Denise Fenzi at work.

Denise Fenzi training with R+.

As anyone who has either read my book or knows me in person is aware of, I am a positive reinforcement trainer. That wasn’t always the case. I started my training knowledge with the more old fashioned techniques  now known as “traditional” training.

At the time, it was simply the way that things were done. My fellow trainers and I were never intentionally harmful to the dogs that we were training or so we saw it that way. Of course the corrections that we issued to these dogs were intentional in that they were meant to be corrections. But did we see these forceful actions as harmful? Not at all. It was simply how we were told that dogs learned. But did they really learn? Sure, they did but at a cost and part of that cost was often a loss of trust. Humans are very unpredictable and can cause pain. They learned that right away. Best to avoid that pain by toeing the line that we drew. Dogs are amazingly adaptive. They can learn despite the failings of humans.

I will always have to live with the knowledge that my beloved Merlin and Kera were initially “trained” with choke chains and a harsh jerk on the leash. And let’s not forget scruff grabs and the like. My sweet Siri got far too familiar with a prong collar for during her late teenage months. Until I heard the cry of pain from one particularly enthusiastic launch forward during a hike, that is. That was the last time she had to bear that medieval device. It has made a great back gate latch since then.

My training method crossover did not happen fully overnight. I was dead set against using food rewards at first. But I attended my first positive training class with a dog from the shelter that I taught at, instructed by a local positive trainer who taught at another local shelter. I was initially horrified at the amount of food used. But I could not deny that my shelter ward for the class was attentive to what was taught. Soon I was bringing my own dog (Merlin) to the same trainer’s class with an eagerness that I never felt about my own classes. The transformation had begun.

The majority of that transformation was the fact that Merlin was not a dog that accepted corrections lightly. When they even made a dent in his consciousness, it was because he fought back. Merlin was a confident intelligent dog. He saw no need to be roughed up. When I learned a better way, the difference in attentiveness was like night and day. I had finally had the sense to give this brilliant dog the job that he had been craving. The end of his reactivity on leash to pretty much anything that moved had begun in earnest. I was delighted!

Years have passed and my knowledge has grown by volumes. My eyes have been opened. I have been thinking about this awakening in depth recently and I liken it to those pictures that get forwarded around where there are hidden images. Until you spot the image, you are confused and frustrated. Everyone else can see it, why can’t you? But then the skies clear, the image is undeniable and you wonder with amazement how you missed it even for a moment. As a dear friend says about other subjects, you can’t unsee it. Your life is forever changed. This is how I now see the balanced trainers versus positive reinforcement trainers division. I now see that image and that can never be changed. I wish they could see it too. It makes me sad that they can’t.

I will try very hard to explain this without judgment. Having been on the other side, I truly know that there is no cruel intent in most balanced trainers’ methods. I say most because some people will always take pleasure in their so called domination of another species. This is not said lightly. I have names in mind. This writing is not about those people. I do not feel that changing the view of those who feel that way is within my reach. Their path is in their control and they will follow it where they are directed to. I wish them clarity someday.

One of the questions I was asked recently was, did I think someone I know who is a balanced trainer hurts dogs? I said no initially because I truly don’t think she means to, as explained above. But after giving this more thought, the real answer is, “Yes, I do.” Using shock, jerks on choke chains or prong collars, and other physical corrections, DOES hurt. It’s designed to. That is the whole reason behind the use. Punishment does work. Correct the dog, he won’t do that again! But what does the dog learn from that? See above.

The dog in question does not change how he feels about what caused him to get issued a correction. He just learns that it hurts when he does that. It doesn’t mean he won’t do it again. It means that he will weigh his options and may choose what is more rewarding for him in the immediate moment at the expense of potential pain. This is a bad position to place a dog in.

The relationship suffers. There is no way of getting around that. There are various schools of thought that a dog should do whatever is asked simply because pleasing the human that asked is the best reward. It sure can be a huge part of it. But there are caveats to this.

That high of a value being placed on verbal acknowledgement as a reinforcement only comes with an already stellar relationship. If you are an unpredictable human and you sometimes cause pain, then you are not to be fully trusted and a verbal reinforcement will never be at the same level for a dog you are training than with a dog and human combo that has a trust filled relationship.

There, I said it. Let the flames begin. That is fact and you can spin it any way you want to try but that is how relationships work and we all know it. It’s the same with humans. Trust is trust. If you trust the person on the end of the leash to always have your back, then you will do pretty much anything for that person. Positive reinforcement training gives you and your dogs the opportunity to truly communicate with one another. It’s a two way conversation, with respect for both.

I realize that I must clarify the above somewhat. I am well aware that there are some crossover trainers who had great relationships with their dogs prior to crossing over. But I feel safe saying that these trainers have great skill with timing and that their corrections were rarely or never at the extreme end. The average dog parent who takes a class/has a private from/with a balanced trainer doesn’t have the same skill and understanding and the relationship will suffer.

Now none of this is not to say that positive trainers never lose their cool. We yell at our own dogs periodically, we have faults, we make mistakes, we are all human. But the effort to avoid having any emotional and physical pain in the name of forced compliance is a huge consideration. Again, this is not a judgment on those who I think simply have not seen that image. This is a plea to you to try to see that image. For your dogs, for the dogs you train. There is a better way.

I hear so much silliness from balanced trainers that well trained dogs trained by positive reinforcement is not the norm. We must have as our own dogs or train only soft dogs, not the dogs with drive like they train. Again, sorry to be blunt, but hogwash! I have dogs with “drive”. (what a silly term! It really just means a type A personality.) Merlin was never an easy dog to either live with or train but let me say, once I learned the right way to train, he was a pleasure! I could take him anywhere. He could be off leash standing next to a deer and he would come to me to be rewarded for ignoring said deer. I work with dogs like this all the time. I help clients turn reactivity and aggression around all the time. As with any client base, owner compliance is important to success. But success is the norm here. I am also far less worried about the damage that my clients can do to their dogs with bad timing of verbal markers and treats than giving them the permission to jerk their dog when the feel the need!

Anger is easy to escalate. Having been in this position, I say this with conviction: it’s far easier to simply jerk a leash again when “compliance” is not forthcoming than to take the moment to show the dog what you want instead. Anger begets anger. I choose to show people how to teach their dogs to make better decisions and to give their dogs a voice in the outcome of any situation. I can sleep better this way and I know that the majority of my clients do as well.

This is a subject dear to my heart so I need to curtail my ramblings now or I will fill far too many pages for this article! I will end this with some comments from other cross over trainers on what moment gave them pause to “cross over”, edited for space.

Dawn Elberson Goehring in Gaitlinburg, TN is in the entertainment business at the Comedy Barn Theater with her dogs. With a background in working with wildlife, which involves hands off training, she could not understand why leashes were needed to train a dog. So she went hands off with her trick training and found an amazing attitude with her dogs that serves her as well with training clients today.

Nan Arthur, trainer in Lakeside CA and member of the faculty at Karen Pryor Academy and author of “Chill Out Fido”, says that her defining moment was attending a class with her six month old puppy and seeing the instructor correct another dog so hard that he was slammed into a brick wall because of his barking. She walked out and found a better way.

Pat Miller, owner of Peaceable Paws in Fairplay, MD and author of numerous books on positive training as well as training editor of the Whole Dog Journal, states that her light bulb moment came when her marvelous dog Josie ran and hid under the deck when she brought out her utility dog equipment. She never looked back from that moment. It is well documented what has resulted since then!

Miranda Workman, trainer in Amherst, NY and former president of the CCPDT, offers that her Boxer who had been attacked by another dog, became reactive and was made worse by punishment based training techniques. He was no longer safe to be around. This situation helped her not only cross over but to become a professional trainer.

Casey Lomonaco, of Rewarding Behaviors Dog Training in Endicott, NY has Monty to thank for her awakening. I cannot possibly edit her story and still do it justice so simply read it for yourself here. http://projectmonte.wordpress.com/about/

All these situations have something in common: they saw the image in the picture. For those of you who have seen the image, feel free to share your story here as well. For those who have yet to see the image, if you are local, come watch me work. If you are not, call a qualified positive trainer and ask to watch her/him work. I wish you clarity.

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Can You Feel the Love? Dogs and Emotion

Can You Feel the Love? Dogs and Emotion

Updated February 14, 2022. This was originally written in 2012. We know better now. Dogs clearly love!

 

Do dogs love? I was recently very startled to hear someone I thought of as pretty dog savvy, say that dogs don’t think nor feel. They only act out of instinct. I don’t think a statement exists that I disagree with more than this one. This statement was made in reference to dog/dog relations, but either way it is inaccurate.

Do these dogs have feelings for each other or does it only appear that way?

Do these dogs have feelings for each other or does it only appear that way?

I could fill another book with the whole “do dogs think” part of this statement but since solid information supporting thinking in dogs is not only prevalent anywhere you care you look including science, I will simply address the feeling part of this equation.

Several brilliant minds well known in the behavior world, with far more initials following their names than I have, have already addressed the matter of dogs and emotions before. This information is also available in print. They have come to the same conclusion that I have.

Of course they feel emotions! One only has to live with and observe them with any regularity, to fully grasp this fact. Personally, I think it’s especially obvious when dealing with multiple dog households. If at least two of them get along, that is.

Dog/dog interactions aside, whether a dog feels emotions or not, also applies to their interactions with humans as well. To be blunt, why have a dog or any pet for that matter, if there is no mutual bond to share? The thought baffles me.

Of course, all of the “evidence” I will be discussing here, is anecdotal. For science, see Patricia McConnell, Marc Bekoff and Vilmos Cysani for starters. But I am not a scientist; I am a dog behavior consultant. I don’t conduct double blind studies in sterile labs. I do, however, make my living observing dog behavior. This observation that I do, gives me the information that I need to successfully modify the behavior for the better, of my client’s dogs. I have to assume that my observations have thus far been pretty accurate since my clients are pretty happy with the results.

My observations so far are too numerous to catalog in entirety on this subject. But my knowledge of this subject is not limited to my observations alone. Plenty of dog caretakers have the same stories to tell. My story that doesn’t come from my own experience, is from a friend who I asked to let my dogs out while I was gone too long one day. My friend commented that Trent was very protective of Kera, who is suffering from not only canine dementia but also kidney failure. She said that he stuck very close to her in my yard when she let them out to potty.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Siri declined a potty break that day, so clearly she had no qualms about Kera’s safety with my friend, who is by the way very well known to my dogs. I told my friend that Trent had never done that when I was there, not in the yard any way. Both Siri and Trent are attentive to her needs including indicating that they are waiting for her when need be. Trent is also very mannerly about letting Kera enter doorways first, when mannerly is not necessarily his foremost trait. So this story was interesting to me.

I have too many stories of my own observation to list. Trent took great care of Merlin in his last months. He was very focused on cleaning his ears frequently as well as circling him when he was walking with him to seemingly ensure his safety when he was tired. Siri stood sentry by the truck the day Merlin wasn’t up for getting out at our favorite spot until he finally did venture out. Then she followed him while he walked slowly. She does the same thing with Kera now.

Siri’s brother, Xander was almost inconsolable at first when his “big sister” Mona passed away. He wasn’t present the loss so he only knew that she left one day and never came back.

When Merlin spent the day and an overnight at the vet’s for an operation, the other dogs were visibly ruffled. The joy that they greeted him with when we picked him up the next day was undeniable. They were very gentle and careful with him.

They shared the loss when we had to say goodbye to him. I made sure that they were present so that they would know what transpired. I wanted them to understand and the transition was much easier for them than it was for Xander and his Mona.

Trent adores Siri. He fawns over her as often as she allows him to do so. He would be lost without her. He would lay on her if she would let him.

Almost every multiple dog guardian I know has stories like this. Many include other species in the bond, in addition to a dog/dog one. Feel free to add your story in the spaces below. Let’s dispel the old fashioned myth together.

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